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-Mark Mojares

Its 3 A.M I’m still wide awake,
Been staring at the ceiling for a couple of hours now,
Don’t know how long I could take,
These Memories keeps bugging me for days now
Just leave me alone for Heaven’s sake
I want this to end,
I just want to live my life again.

Its 4 A.M, another hour has pass
“I need something to drink” maybe a glass of whiskey is enough,
To quench my thirst, and relieve me from the past,
That keeps haunting me; I don’t know how long I could last

Its 5 A.M still sitting here contemplating
About the thing I should have done
And the things I shouldn’t done
Oh, these thoughts are depressing 
It’s taking a hold of me
It’s bringing me down
This is my predicament, I think, I’m Fading.

The sun is here and it’s peeking through the window
Still I’m sitting here, as if I’m lifeless and Hallow
I couldn’t take this anymore, this pain and sorrow
It’s killing me, Now, I’m Lifeless and Hallow

I stood up and decided to take a morning drive
I grab the keys to my motorcycle and rush
Hurried out and one of my neighbor say Hi
I didn’t mind and quickly mount my motorcycle, start it and dash
I don’t know what’s happening to me, I’ve never been deprived
My, thoughts, beliefs and feelings in my head clash
I think I’m dead inside

Where Should I go? I need fresh air
To cool my mind and keep everything in place
So I decided to drive to the place where I first saw her face
Oh, I still love her, Oh, I still care

The place brings back good memories, 
As I sat on the bench, I thought I felt her skin touches mine,
I thought it freed me from worries
And a stroke of air hit me from behind
I looked back; I thought it was her,
Oh, there’s nothing and there’s no one
My mind is playing tricks on me all this time

It’s as if I’m running an endless marathon inside my brain
Where I keep chasing the good thoughts with you, to at least ease the pain
Bur it seems that I’ve been chasing Usain Bolt and I can never win
I’ll better kneel down and let loneliness succumb me again.

I grabbed my phone and read our last conversation
It made me smile and at the same time bring tears to my eyes
I think I’m going to explode; I can’t handle the emotion
And out of nowhere, I’ve decided that I’ll see you again
I wanted to take a glimpse of you, 
I want you to look at me straight in the eyes
I want you to talk to me, make it all seem fine

I drove fast; I drove 80 miles an hour,
I don’t want to waste every second, every minute I want to be with you fast
I’m thinking positive and just want this moment to last
So, I’ll make it count, every second, every minute an hour is enough

I’ve arrived at your place, 8:30 to be exact
I hope you’re awake, get up now and eat your breakfast my love
Open your blinds and look at your window 
A Hopeless man is smiling at you from below
I hope everything will go well
I’ve never been so nervous my entire life
I hope this will end very well.

My body’s shaking and I can feel my lips trembling
My heart’s been pounding uncontrollably, suddenly I feel groggy
This moment is stressing me; I’m still looking for the words to say
I hope she’ll listen to me and to every single word I say

I’ve been staring at her window for quite some time now
At last! The blinds are opening, I saw her and I gave my most sincere smile
But something happened that took me by surprise
A man is with her, hugging her from behind
I couldn’t believe what I saw, my heart is shattered
All hope is gone none of the things now mattered
They’re just staring back at me as if I’m a man who has no place to call home
Tears starts to falls, I don’t know what to do
I stared at her closely and whispered, My Love, Goodbye to you

I turned back and walk away; I’m ashamed you’ve seen me this way
I thought to myself that I deserve this and now the price is paid
I just want to talk to you and I want to apologize
For all the things I’ve done and for all of the lies
I’m sorry for everything, I’m sorry for making you cry
I want you to be happy always; don’t throw your life away, be free and fly
If you’re reading this, this is what I want to say,
But I guess it doesn’t matter anyway,
Probably, right now you’ll never see me and hear from me again
The moment you’re reading this, I am gone with the wind

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